There is a growing narrative in the Church today that I find increasingly difficult to sit with:

“If a Christian leader hurt you and it affected your faith, you need to ask whether you were worshipping Jesus or people.”

At first glance, this sounds like wisdom. But when you sit with it more deeply, it often reveals something else entirely—a lack of empathy and a misunderstanding of how people actually come to know God, and even how God Himself does relationship.

Because the truth is, most people don’t meet Jesus in isolation.

They meet Him:

• through people

• through community

• through those entrusted to shepherd, guide, and care

So when those very people misrepresent His heart—when they act without relational integrity or fail to engage honestly—it doesn’t just feel like a relational rupture.

It affects:

• trust

• safety

• attachment

• and, yes, faith itself

That is not a failure of faith.
That is how we are wired.

When Harm Is Reframed Instead of Resolved

One of the most damaging patterns in many church systems is when harm occurs and the priority subtly shifts to protecting the image of the system, rather than caring for the person who was impacted.

So instead of:

• acknowledgment

• relational engagement

• and healing

we often see:

• minimisation

• spiritualisation

• or redirection back onto the individual

“Maybe this is about your unforgiveness.”
“Maybe this is something God is using to grow you.”

While those statements may contain elements of truth in the right context, they can also function as ways to avoid responsibility.

And when that happens, the injury is compounded.

The Use of Proxies in Leadership

Another layer of this dynamic is more structural.

Over time, I’ve observed a pattern where:

• individuals are placed in visible positions

• asked to “be the face”

• while real authority or decision-making remains elsewhere

Meanwhile, when relational issues arise, those directly responsible often do not engage.

Instead, others are sent to manage the situation.

This creates a fragmented system where:

• responsibility is diffused

• communication is diluted

• and no one is truly accountable at a relational level

The person affected ends up interacting not with those who carry authority—but with an intermediary who cannot fully resolve the issue.

This is not shepherding.

It is management.

“Be the Face”: A Moment of Discernment

Years ago, when my husband was invited to “be the face” of a Church, something in me paused.

What did that mean?

Was leadership being defined as:

• visibility without authority?

• influence without accountability?

• representation without authenticity?

Was this how church growth was being pursued these days, perhaps even to protect Leaders?

Even way back then, I sensed something misaligned—not just in that moment, but in a wider pattern that I would come to observe repeatedly across different church environments.

Saul and David: Two Leadership Anointings

The pattern can be understood through Scripture—not as labels, but as postures of the heart of a leader.

Saul’s Pattern

Saul’s leadership shows us a posture that is:

• concerned with appearance

• responsive to pressure

• protective of position

• resistant to full accountability

When confronted, Saul explains:

“I was afraid of the people…” (1 Samuel 15)

His focus is divided:

• between God’s instruction

• and people’s perception

And when failure is revealed, image management often outweighs true repentance.

David’s Pattern

David’s leadership, while not perfect, reveals something else:

• a heart aligned with God

• a willingness to be seen truthfully

• a response of repentance when confronted

• a desire for authenticity over image

“Search me, O God…” (Psalm 139)

The defining difference is not perfection.

It is responsiveness when truth is revealed.

Where the Church Stands Now

The Church has a profound opportunity in this moment.

Not to double down on image.
Not to silence complexity.
Not to redirect pain.

But to become a place where people can say:

“I do believe—help my unbelief.”

A place where:

• doubt is not shamed

• pain is not dismissed

• and truth is not weaponised

Because the cross is not an invitation to have everything together.

It is an invitation to say:

“I am unraveling. And I need You here.”

The Way Forward

If the Church is to reflect the heart of Christ, it must return to:

• relational accountability over structural protection

• authentic leadership over curated image

• presence over distance

• truth spoken in love, not managed through avoidance

Because people are not projects.
They are not problems to be managed.

They are beloved.

And the role of leadership is not to preserve a system—
but to reflect the heart of the Shepherd.